After The End
by CoCr00121
Summary: This is the story of what happens after Thirst 4 by Christopher Pike, Sita is stuck with the hard decision of staying with Krishna or going back to earth. T because a little bit of lauguage
1. Heaven

**Hey everyone, I know it's been forever since I've done anything with this story. I have made a few changes to it and am trying to finish it, so I'll be adding lots more, and hopefully finish this story soon! P.s Thirst five came out, I'm reading it now, it's so good!**

My eyes remain glued to Krishna, not because I feel I have to stare but because I simply cannot look away. His words bounce around my skull "It matters not, Sita. Stay or go you will always be with me." I feel as if I'm about to make the most important decision of my extremely long life, but yet instead of contemplating my options I stand here captivated by his magical blue eyes.

"Sita, would you like to see Umara before making your decision?" Krishna voice feels like a caress from a loving hand, I all but melt where I stand, I'm not sure I am capable of speaking so I nod my head, I pictured meeting Krishna many times on earth after I first saw him, I never prepared for being given a choice to travel back to earth. "As you have said Sita, I am full of surprises." He says while turning his head sideways to smile at me, in that moment nothing matters but him. My heart pounds in my chest, which surprises me since I'm dead, my body feels like my veins have been infused with liquid bliss.

"Will I come back to you, my lord, if I were to go to earth and die again?" If the answer is anything but yes, I will chain myself to the very ground I stand on. His laugh tickles my heart and makes me slightly shaky.

"I don't think going to such extremes is necessary but, whether you stay or go, Sita you are always here." I suspect he means because of his grace, his answer annoys but does not surprise me, for it is just his way. We walk together silently, not out of anger but because words are not enough, we walk for quite some time but how long a mystery to me is, time has no meaning here, a concept I myself do not understand. I really would like to meet Umara, Yakasha's wife but I never want to leave Krishna's side, it grieves me to think our walk will end sometime.

"My lord, did Yakasha see you?" As I ask my voice turns to barley a whisper at the end, if Yakasha did not survive the scales...the concept is not a possibility in my mind.

"Yes, I have met with Yakasha, I saw his last night on the beach with you, actually his is in the cavern directly before Umara, if you wish to see him you could stop there first?" I feel one tear of joy trickle down my cheek, although I'm not completely sure it is there. I feel as I did on the mountain top in Las Vegas, only I am not filled with radiation but the pure goodness Krishna emits.

"Am I in heaven, I like it by why do you spend all of you time with me, Sita the vampire?" I can't help myself, I has so many questions, only a fraction are answered. "My lord." I tack on for good measure, again he smiles.

"Oh my Sita, always so curious even in the afterlife. I guess if you wanted you could call this heaven, although it is past words or time, and Sita I am with you but also I am everywhere I am in all of creation, it is just this form of me that stands by you now." His answers are substantial but just raise more questions. "Through the passage of light Yakasha stays, you may go to him now."

"Wait! one more question, is John similar to you, Krishna?" I cannot help but ask, for it has haunted me.

"John is a very special person, and his wonders will only grow with age. Now go Sita talk to Umara and Yakasha, follow your heart and come to me when you have reached your decision." And before I can say goodbye he is gone. I just realize now I was so absorbed by him I barley notice the red lotus flower and flute he held, also his clothes changed from his earlier wear to a blue floor length gown, I look down to see my dress is similar. I take a deep breath gather my courage and walk through what I can only describe as a doorway of light, I'm not sure if I am ready to see Yakasha yet. I'm not sure what I expect to see behind the door, maybe a holy fountain, but I defiantly did not expect to see Yakasha sitting listening to classical music, the music does not come from a specific place, it just surrounds us.

"Oh Sita, how I've missed you," He mumbles, I understand how he feels, I thought it would be forever before I saw him again. "Is it true you took out the telar and IIC?" My first reaction is to say yes, I'm not sure maybe it's his hopeful expression but my gut tells me it's something else. It's impossible, I know I died on the mountain top when Matt shot me but Krishna's three simple words come back to me _"Are you sure?"_

"Honestly, I don't know, I feel like to different people. I know I stepped in front of Seymour to protect him from Matt who was attacked by the array, but when I concentrate I get flashes of other thing. I don't know what's happening!" I groan in frustration, I feel the information is important and I can almost remember! Yakasha rubs the back of my head and whispers calming things.

"Did you like Umara?" Yakasha says guiding me to a bed I didn't notice before.

"I came to see you first I am going to her next." He looks confused.

"No on earth, Umara talked about meeting you, helping tackle the IIC...Sita are you okay?" The flashbacks play vividly in my mind but only stay for a millisecond. I feel my body start to sway back and forth then land on Yakasha, someone enters the room but I do not have the power to lift my head and look. "Umara what's going on?" Yakasha says with urgency, I want to tell them I am okay but I do not have the energy.

"Shit, her brain is confused because subconsciously it remembers dyeing a number of times, her conscious cannot keep up with the confusion." I don't understand, it is not possible for someone to die more than once, which is how the world works. "Sita look at me," suddenly all of my strength comes back and I lift my head and look into a beautiful set of warm brown eyes, then everything hits me the cradle, the lens, the IIC, telar, Shanti, Tarana. Everything comes crashing down and it's too much, black dots dance across my vision and before I can make a sound I black out completely.


	2. Sure as Hell Didn't See That One Coming

**Here's the second chapter revised, don't know if it is very different or not, just fixed some grammar errors and stuff!**

My mind wanders as I lay on the bed of our crummy motel room, I know I should get up and tell the others of how Shanti was actually Tarana, I know this will devastate Seymour, I'm so comfortable and completely exhausted I do not know if I have the willpower to get up. Someone caresses my forehead, the hand is big and obviously male so I think it is Matt I try to mumble a greeting but my throat is thick with drowsiness.

"Everything is good Sita, rest now we can talk later." My eyes snap open, it is Yakasha before me, not Matt I smile when I realize I am in heaven.

"Where is Umara, I need to talk to her?" I ask as I get out of bed, Yakasha looks as if he would like me to lie back down but I feel better than I ever have before.

"I'll go get her, Sita you stay where you are." Yakasha begins to annoy me slightly, I am dead, I'm pretty sure I cannot injure myself. I sit and watch my fingers wiggle as I wait for Umara, I hope she will tell me what on earth to do. I laugh to myself that may not be possible now that I'm not there. Just then to sets of footsteps make their way to me now.

"Umara," I cried leaping up before she could speak even though she could most likely outdo me in a fight it was me who pulled her into my arms and squeezed until she started to laugh. "I'm so sorry." I whispered breaking off at the end, the visual of me breaking her neck replays in my head like a loop. She pets my hair softly.

"But Sita, don't you see, you've done me the biggest favour anyone ever has , I'm here in heaven with everyone I love please Sita don't be sad. Did you know here you can create anything my merely thinking it?" Her words do little for my guilt but what she say interest me.

"So like this?" I ask putting my whole being into focusing on pillow, suddenly I am surrounded by fabric I open my eyes to see a world of white, Yakasha and Umara laugh.

"As always you're too powerful." Yakasha says, I hear the smile in his voice, with a blink of Umara's eye the pillow disappear. I try again this time one single lamp appears in front of me, I smile.

"Okay now I'd like no one to say a word until I tell you, don't even make a face, this is something I need to do." They both nod and I close my eyes hold out my hand and very precisely picture a warm blood bag. I open my eyes when I feel weight on my palm, Umara and Yakasha watched me intently but other than that keep their faces masked. I quickly envisioned a pair of scissors and cut a small hole on the corner of the bag, I took a deep breath to clear my thoughts then held the bag to my lips. I slowly took a curious drink from the red liquid that was my elixir to immortality, the minute it hit my tongue I knew something was wrong, it didn't taste like the dark seductive river of joy it was before, it was more a mixture of metal and sweat. I sit the blood out of my mouth and got rid of the blood bag. I'm not sure why but all of a sudden tears started to run down my face, I look to Yakasha and blubbered some nonsense, he nodded.

"Yes Sita, finally our curse is done." Tears started from his eyes like rivers he took me in his arms again and we both cried for what seemed like an eternity.

After I was completely cried out I told Umara and Yakasha I needed some alone time and left, currently I am walking around aimlessly thinking of nothing and everything at the same time, a habit I cannot drop from my eons of vampirism. Trying to understand the new taste of blood almost made my brain skip like a scratched CD, for almost all of my life all I had known was blood it fuelled my body, gave me strength and happiness, it even entered my dreams at points, dark red and dripping with flavour. Now it is like everything I know has been stripped away and all I am left with is a shell of my past life, I can't decide what to feel at the moment.

The path I chose to walk on has been mostly the same since I started my journey, white or almost clear walls, I say walls because I have no other word for them, they simply don't exists but remain there anyways, I have never heard heaven described so confusingly. I am so lost in thought I nearly miss the small fountain in front of me, it is filled not with water but with the same substance that Umara used to give me life again. I don't know why but I have the urge to sit on the edge of the fountain so I go with it, I am slowly learning that trusting your gut more than anything will help you here. The water is extremely hypnotic and I find myself reaching out to touch its silky surface without consciously deciding to. When my fingers hit the water's surface a small giggle escapes from me, which is completely out of character for me, but I can't help it. The substance is impossible to explain, it is the most astonishing liquid I have ever felt against my skin, it is as if the holy water, I have decided it is beyond human or immortal creation, seeps into my veins and makes me completely relax, I absently wonder is this is the sensation of being high. I think of Umara, maybe I should get her and show her my amazing discovery, she disappears from my thoughts instantaneously though because the minute my mind recalls her, she is projected onto the screen just like a television.

"Matt is wonderful, he is so much like you, you would immediately love him." Umara says, I have come to the conclusion that when I think of a person the mystical fountain shows me what exactly they are doing in this moment of time, I almost jump when I hear Yakasha's voice.

"I wish I could see him, Umara I can't believe I stayed away from you so long, you mean the world to me." Yakasha says pulling her onto his lap. He goes to say more but I mentally turn of the "screen" if you will. This is a private moment between Yakasha and Umara and I do not want to intrude on their private lives, anyways it makes a pang of longing stir in my chest. I try to think of someone I would like to see but would not be too painful on my mind, Seymour, Matt or Cynthia Brutan are out of the question because of the multitude of memories, good and bad, associated with them. I give up on trying to see someone from earth, for all I know I might not be able to see different dimensions through my portal, I think to myself trying to ignore the fact I might scared of what I see. Randomly I wonder how many days I have been up here, I know time means nothing, but I wonder how many earth days have gone by since I died. I stun myself, since I died, it's the first time I have said it, which must mean I have fully excepted I have moved on from earth, I wonder, is that my answer to the question, to stay or go?


	3. Goodbye

**More revised stuff, tell me what you think! :)**

I knew, with a pounding resolution in my heart, who I wanted to see. All throughout my life I have wondered what my little Latia has been doing, by now she would have been long gone but I know she must be somewhere. Before I find her I take a few calming breaths, I'm nervous, what if her life took a different turn and she's not up here like I thought, or maybe she is and wouldn't understand me! My "calming" breath didn't really work out so I close my eyes and picture her, her beautiful eyes and stunning smile, her hair which glistened like gold under sunlight or her soul which you could see shining in her eyes and you could feel in everything she did.

The sound of rushing water breaks me out of my revere, I look into my fountain to see Latia a young woman around the age I look sitting by a pond, in a room not unlike mine. I am amazed to see how very much she does look like me, her body is lean but powerful and you can see the overflowing happiness in her face, I feel like I am about to explode with joy, I don't care if she ever wants to see me again, just the fact that she is here healthy and happy is enough for me. She closes her eyes slightly and then looks into her pond, first it is an image of Rama, even a glimpse of his face sends shivers down my spine, but before I know it the picture changes to me, she watches me watch her and it takes us some time to realize we could be talking.

"Mother?" She asks, her voice careful as if I might disappear.

"Yes, Latia, yes come find me, where are you?" I take a minute to gather myself, "I need to see you." I barley whisper the last part, I am so overcome with emotion I cannot speak, I feel tears well up in my eyes and I quickly wipe them away. I never understood crying for happiness until now, it's like all these emotions boil up into you and you have to release them.

"Mother, there is no time," I go to interrupt her before she quiets me with a look, "Krishna still has a job for you, an important one, but I am always with you. I love you." I don't have time to react before she steps away from the pond, we can no longer talk so I also step away from my fountain. I don't know why but I have the urge to lay back on a bed, even though I am not tired. I take a quick second to visualize one and jump onto it. Latia's words replay in my mind until I'm restless, what job could Krishna have for me that meant I could not talk to her, as long as I was in heaven, or whatever this was, I would still be able to keep contact through what I know have decided are looking bowls. I lay and ponder this until one thought has me sitting up.

What if Krishna doesn't want me to stay here, what if I have to go somewhere else. Even the thought of leaving this place makes me ache with longing to come back, if I picture going back to earth even for one second I already miss this place terribly. It is not just because I have broken the curse of vampirism but because if I go back I could have to wait another hundred years before I got to see Umara, Yakasha, Krishna or Latia. I am hit with another wave of pain while I think this, not of the same longing as before but I never even got to know her before I left. But Krishna would never ask me to leave, I waited too long for this, this undeniably sweet sense of perfection, untainted by the blood of the many lives I took not at all saved by the ones I saved. I was essentially a monster on the inside, while on earth I thought I was evil by nature but still did some good things. Now that my opinion is shadowed by this afterlife I see how wrong I was, everyday I took something from human, I needed to take life to keep mine going. Some might say that human are no different, they kill animals but it's not the same. I also took peoples willpower forcing them to do things, like steal blood. Don't even start me on my time in the lense, I will never forgive myself for what I had done, even now. I might have saved the world once or twice in my thousands of years on earth but the damage I caused, the lives I took might not have been worth it.

I am silently falling farther into my self hatred when I hear footsteps. I pray that it is anyone but Krishna, I shouldn't be near anyone with the mood I'm in but him especially. Since luck really hasn't been on my side lately I am not surprised to see Krishna's blue robe walking towards me, I quickly stand to greet him, my manners are not forgotten with the hostility in my head.

"Sita I sense that something is wrong, please confide in me." His voice gives me a flush of warmth and excitement despite my mood, he leads me to the bed to sit down.

"I was just thinking about my time on earth, I have no idea how I ended up here and not in hell." I say this quietly, as if I were embarrassed to even sit beside someone so holy.

"You of all people deserve to be here, my Sita." As he says this he lovingly rubs my arm, which almost has me believing him but I hold onto my anger.

"Just because I did one or two things that were good does not mean that I benefited society in any way shape or form. I took lives that can never be repaid, I killed people Krishna! I know what I was and you don't have to hide it from me any longer, I am just glad that now I am different." It takes a few moments her him to answer and I am scared for a minute he might confirm my fears but when I look up at his face I am in a whole different mindset, this is the first time I have seen him angered.

"You really do not see what I see. I do not think that you are worthy of being here because of any of the good deeds you did on earth, but I also do not think you are ill-fitted in this place because of the bad things you did. You might not understand but your soul is the same not matter what species you are or what crimes you have committed, you are here because you choose to believe in my despite what you thought you saw in the mirror or you thought you were. You believed in my and that changed your soul into something wonderful, don't doubt yourself." His tone had softened by the end of his outburst but the point still came across, in all honesty I am surprised. I had no idea that Krishna thought one tenth of what he does about me, but then again when you re a god you must have a lot of time to think about everyone. I am very emotional today, which is totally out of character for me, my eyes are moist yet again from being happy. I just can't predict myself around him, not when my feeling were unstable to begin with.

"Thank you, you don't know how much that means but Krishna, try to see it from my point of view. I roamed the earth for millenniums just taking, the first time I killed I was totally revolted with myself, that would be fine the worst part is that over the years I got used to it. Drinking someones blood was no big deal, I actually enjoyed it! My cravings made me see myself in a different light but now, when the hunger is not there to cloud my thoughts, I'm not sure about anything." I admit this with a strange triumph, it somehow feels good to say it aloud, maybe because I know Krishna will understand no matter what I tell him. It could also be because in a strange way I have finally come to terms with myself, even though I hate my nature, well what my nature was.

"Sometimes easier to let go of the past instead of dwelling on it, you cannot change what you were but you can change what you are going to be. I know you Sita you still have some great things left in your future yet, which will last forever, might I add." He ends with a almost sarcastic smile towards me. It's odd Krishna is so informal, I feel like I'm free-falling off a plane, I love it. I thought that I had experienced all the love I could for Krishna but this new personality makes my wonder for him grow. "But Sita, this isn't exactly what I came here to talk to you about, I need you to do something only you can do. Before you object, Sita I need you to go to earth again, as a vampire." His words hang in the silence my first reaction is to say no, is to yell and scream at the injustice of all of this but, then it occurs to me, if Krishna is asking me to do this it must be over something horrible going on down there.

"Why?" I ask waiting hoping I can get out of this knowing I wont be able to.

"Sita, I need you to help me start the apocalypse, it's time you need to get as many people as possible to believe that this," He says waving his hand around to show our surroundings, "exists, also I need you to kill what is left of the Immortal shape shifters." What! How is this possible I have what I can only describe as a mental stutter.

"That's not possible, why the apocalypse? How did I not come across this different race? ARE YOU INSANE?" My confusion comes out as anger, I am beyond controlling my tone now though.

"Sita, everything will make sense in time, so will you save the world once again." He laughs, I feel my head spin and I cannot think a simple line. Can I do this?


	4. Really Krishna?

**To everyone out there who is having there March break right now, hope it's good!**

Dammit, out of all the things Krishna has to pull on me this is what he chooses. I mean I would have been perfectly happy even being sent to the gates to join the welcome wagon to heaven, I would have even been happy with being sent to the scales for a while. It's odd, I am without a doubt scared to go back to earth only because I do not want to lose this new found humanity in me I thought was lost. Krishna must see this fear within me, he gently caresses my arm to stop my body from shaking.

"Sita, I know this will not be easy but imagine, what good you will be doing, Seymour, Matt, Cynthia you could see all of those people. I know a reunion wouldn't be on the forefront of your mind if you chose to go back but it would still be possible." His warming smile put me at ease, as terrified as I was it was impossible to be frightened around him.

"Krishna, I am scared of losing you, and my humanity I have found." I whispered, embarrassed at my weakness, even though I knew he wouldn't judge me.

"I knew you would feel this way so I rethought my plans until they worked," his sly grin had me confused, "Sita, I do not want you to return as a vampire, but as the next messiah." Yet again I am stunned by his words, but my unanswered questions bring me back.

"What about John?" I know with all my heart that he is the one meant for this, not me, Bloody Sita. Now a look of real grief crosses his face, this breaks me hear so greatly I would do anything to make him smile again. I know before he speaks that something horrible has happened to John.

"Sadly he isn't on earth currently but we will be retuning to my adobe very soon, do not fret over this, for it is nothing."I took in his words, ignoring the warning signs in my mind that this was much more than nothing. I decided to take minute to think about all of this, what if I could be on earth without all the blood and guts. Obviously I would miss Krishna but if I were a holy being maybe I could talk to him easier, and if I could do something to save the world my humanity wouldn't be lost. Krishna smiles up at me. "See, nothing is as bad once you hear everything, and you communication would be easier for us, and Sita, you never did lose you humanity, it just took you dieing for you to see it." I might not believe him about my humanity part but his words satisfied me enough that I promised I would go back to earth, now I had time to say goodbye to Yakasha, one good thing about earth would be the marking of time, I still don't understand the concept of no time.

I am contemplating the need for marking time as I reach Yakasha's "room" I really don't have another word for it, even though I know it's not correct, that annoys me. I pause for a second, how am I going to deliver the new to him or what I am even more concerned about is how he will react. God knows he is more fit for the role than me when it comes to playing god. He never -not once- doubted Krishna after he met him, not even when he saw thousands of humans die because of war or disease. Not even as he slowly sucked the blood out of humans, and it's more than I can say for myself. I take unnecessary deep breath to gather my courage as I enter, I really hope this goes well.

"Sita! I've missed you, for I have not seen you once since your first visit. Since I'm not trying to kill you I thought you would see me more often." His laughter is like honey, slow melting warm honey.

"Yakasha, I don't know if I should take a long time to explain this or would you rather me cut the shit and straight up tell you what's going on?" He is startled by my language and tone, but his face is filled with concern. I am pretty sure the last time he saw me in a mood like this was, well never.

"Since you really don't seem like you are in the mood to play story telling I'll go with option two please." The fact that he was joking about this made it better. If he could keep this mood up then maybe everything would be alright.

"I am going to be the next Messiah, also I have to kill the race of Immortal shape sifters all while getting as many people as possible to believe in Krishna and do good to prepare them for the oncoming apocalypse!"My words are so fast that they almost blurred into one entire words itself. For a moment I think the Yakasha has not understood me and I need to slow down but then I see his face. It is a confusing mix of joy, fear, regret and empathy. I can understand regret, because he would probably like to be the Messiah himself but all of the other emotions have ma just as confused as he is. I got nervous as I waited for his reply, I counted the time to the beat of my heart, the more time that went on the louder they seemed until they were thundering in my ears like an oncoming fret train about to smash through our silent meeting. If that happened at least it would be something, the silence was loud against my ears, which were accustomed to some kind of noise other than myself. The pressure was so great against my ears I felt like I might scream if he didn't speak soon, didn't he realize I was already falling apart, didn't he see I desperately I needed someone to understand. I needed something to rely on during these crazy times. I also faint when Yakasha pulls me into a tight hug, crushing my body to his I am so relieved. It has never been a relationship between us but I can't help but love him, not in the way Umara of course but in my own powerful way that I fear will never go away.

"I understand, Sita you are going to do amazing things. I always knew you were something special." His index finger lightly trails down my cheek bone and I have to violently fight back he shivers in my spine. I would never try to be with Yakasha because I know he is happy but in moments like this it is hard to remember why I refused him in the first place. I breath his ancient, intoxicating scent. I quickly pull myself away before it can influence me to do something I would never want to do. On earth I never really let myself feel anything for Yakasha, at first because I hated him but after my anger diminished it was too little too late he was already dead set on ending my existence, not really the best foundation for a relationship. I guess I always had a plan in the back of my head, for if one day we ended up together without the complications, it was really only after I died that I realized my feelings went past the crush stage, how could I expect anything else, my love had more time to bloom than possible for humans or most vampires. I quickly take a tiny step back to distance myself from him and sigh, life or well afterlife was so complicated.

"I'm leaving immediately, I don't know when or if I'll be back here. I will miss you, tell Umara I will miss her too." I mention Umara to remind myself of his real love, not me. He grabs me for a hug one last time, his lips press to the top of my head then he releases me.

"I love you, Sita. I always will. "His whispered words give me hope, not matter what I will make it back here, hopefully bringing as many people as possible with me. Instead of causing more pain I silently turn and leave, one tear threatens to escape but I tilted my head and blinked until the feeling passed. I am just beginning to wonder where Krishna is when he magically appears in front of me, I try to take in my surroundings quickly as I can forcing them into my memory until I know I will never forget them.

"It's time Sita," Krishna's voice is always so kind, even when he is angry he still has one of the most pleasing voices I have ever heard. "One question, where would you like to arrive?" I don't even have to think about that one, I am speaking before I actually decided to.

"Seymour's house." For the first time since I saw my daughter I am actually excited for something. The thought of Seymour's happy radiant face makes me smile, I can't wait to see the look on his face.

"You'll be happy to know he still lives with Matt and Cynthia also." Wow could this be anymore perfect, well except for the fact that I'm leaving heaven that is. "Are you ready?" He asks, I am not, but I also will never be so I nod. Before I can say goodbye I am sucked into a whirlwind of colours voices and scents. Green, laughter and flowers, red, cinnamon and sweet nothings whispered into the ears of loved ones, purple, lavender and summer rain. I could name thousand of things about each of the colours that pass by but my mind is too happy to form sentences. I guess these are the type of things that make life worth it, it's a good idea to remind me of the pros before I return to earth. Way too early the ride was done and I ended up standing on the doorstep of a very lavish three story house. I don't know what to do, if Matt is home there would be no point in knocking because he would already know of my presence. I check my reflection in the door knocker, I look exactly the same as I did before I left earth, eventually I decide to just knock and get it over with, I mean how extreme could their responses be, it's not really hard to believe that something like me is real when your already acquainted with the supernatural. I hear almost silent footsteps running down a flight of stairs, I am so nervous I barley notice when whoever it is reaches the door. I try to stand with my shoulders straight to show confidence but my expression would show my fear, I am in the process of calming down when he throws the door open. My breath is momentarily taken away, my time in heaven had dimmed Matt's looks in my mind, he was the absolute picture of perfection. I watched his face carefully as he blinked a few times, I didn't expect him to freak out but I was watching for the signs, I could visibly see his heartbeat in his chest.

"Okay, Matt. I know this is going to be hard to understand but I need you to think calmly about this." I pause, waiting for a reply I am scared that I have sent him into shock until he slowly nods. "Krishna sent me back here because there are some things I need to do. Matt, It's me Sita." I say things because I am not about to tell him I have to save the world on top of everything else. I feel myself get excited when he opens his mouth to speak.

"You fucking liar." He growls he steps onto the porch and tries to force me to back up, this is definatly not the response I expected.

"No Matt it's me," I put my hands on his chest to stop him, "ask me anything, I'll prove it!" This causes him to stop, it doesn't remove the unconvinced expression off of his face but he is not trying to attack me.

"Fine, tell me "Sita"," you can practically hear the quotation marks around my name " Name one thing we did while me were alone, together, before you became Terri." The pain in his voice is audible when he mentions Terri, it takes me about three seconds to think of a boring dumb thing we did.

"You were at my house and while we were sitting on the couch you gave me a foot massage." I smile, I almost wish I could go back to that time, when everything made sense, but then I thought of Krishna and those thoughts melted away. Matt's face is a confusing jumble of emotions, I cannot even begin to tell them apart. I am completely taken by surprise when he hugs me and lifts me off the ground.

"Sita! Oh my, how? Are you staying? Does anyone-" I cut him off but pressing my hand against his mouth, I laugh when I still here him mumbling questions against my fingers. He scowls at me but I wait till he is done until I remove my hand. He has to many questions and I am going to wait till I'm with everyone so I do not have to repeat myself. "Didyougotoheavenwasmymothert here?" He says this all in one breath then smiles triumphantly at me, I feel all of the fear go away from my body and I can breath again. I have missed Matt dearly. "Seymour get down here!" Matt calls turning his head upstairs, we have moved our happy gathering into the living room of their home, I have to admit that house meets even my high standards. Seymour's footsteps fly down the stairs, he is just about to round the corner when he freezes, his eyes meet mine and I know his reaction will be different then Matt's. It might have something to do with how we are mentally linked or maybe because even though the proof was there Seymour would never give up hope that I was coming back. He grabs me and spins me around in a hug like you see in movies, I can't help but smile.

"Sita, I knew you were coming back," He turns to Matt with a beaming grin, guess who owes me 10 000 dollars, he gently caresses my cheek, I freeze. His skin is off, he doesn't feel normal. I turn to Matt.

"What year is it Matt?" He gives me a confused glance before absently saying,

"Um, 2073 why, do they not have calendars in heaven." His words sink in, why hadn't I realized it before, Seymour's heartbeat is different, his skin. I take a step back.

"Seymour are you a vampire"? Even as I ask I know he is not, I am hoping I am wrong.

"No, Sita see I have a funny story. Well turns out we found another group of supernaturals." His smile makes my stomach churn, I know what he is talking about but I ask anyways.

"What are you Seymour?" I try to keep my voice from shaking but it falters at the end, with a worried look to Matt Seymour, who looks back at me.

"Sita, it's okay turns out I am a new breed of supernatural, I'm a shape sifter." I have to replay his words twice in my head until I understand him. The ground slips away from me, I hear their worried yells but I can't respond. All I can think is how very correct I was when I said that I always kill the ones I love.


	5. New Beginings

I ran, faster than i ever have in my whole existence. The door is no issue for me, I slam it open probably taking it off it's hinges but right now I honestly don't give a shit about their damn door. Before I even realize what is going on I find myself in a car speeding down their street about to go onto a highway, I have no clue whose car I am driving but it doesn't really matter, as long as I get away from that place I'll be fine. I feel suffocated, like if I don't get away I am going to explode, I'm also pretty sure I squealed the tires on my way out, _welcome back Sita_.

Coming to earth was difficult and I had no doubt that Krishna's task would not be easy but I never expected to have to kill someone that close to me. I wish I could talk to Krishna right now, maybe he could explain this mess or jump out and be like "Surprise this is all a big joke!" I don't really expect that to happen, but I do pull over so I can try to talk to him. He said it would be easier to communicate on earth but he never really taught me how so I go with my first idea, I talk to myself. So after an embarrassing half hour of mumbling I take a different approach, I close my eyes take a few deep breaths and centre myself, I am in the middle of meditating when I catch a glimpse of him instead of getting excited I continue the breathing and focus. Finally I am rewarded with Krishna standing in front of me, despite everything I smile I really can't help it.

"Sita, I am glad to see you but am surprised to hear from you so quickly, what is the problem?" His concern is touching but I am a little bit anger, even in his presence that he is going to make me kill Seymour.

"Seymour is one of them," I argue feebly, "I can't kill him, please I cannot kill him." I can no longer hide the panic in my voice I can only hope it will sway his decision. The thought of killing Seymour is like trying to rip off my own arm, we're a part of each other. He slowly nods his head almost as if he's deciding something, I don't let myself hope that he'd change his mind.

"I am really sorry Sita, I know this is going to hurt you but it must be done. Despite his present choices he has a lot of good in him, it's possible that he could very well end up with me." He finished with a smile, try to return it and ignore the horrible feeling in my stomach. I feel crushed, I didn't want to hope but some small part of me did without my permission, so here I stand fighting tears on the verge of a breakdown still pretending everything is alright. Krishna rubs my arm then waves goodbye, I am almost glad to see him leave because honestly I feel like my whole universe is caving in on me. I feel a tiny moment of shock when I find myself back in the car on the side of the road it's disorienting but only lasts for a moment.

Now that I'm alone I can truly let my emotions have me, wave after wave of tears wash over my face. I shouldn't have come here, I really shouldn't have. Guilt, sorrow and regret attack my heart so bad that I'm not sure there will be anything left of me after this. My eyes are so clouded with tears that I don't notice the strange coming towards my car until he knocks on the window. Embarrassed I quickly wipe my tears and smile, I'm not really used to showing my emotions and I feel like I might as well be naked in front of the unwelcome visitor.

"Sorry miss, but I couldn't help notice you parked on the side of the road, is everything okay?" His worry is genuine, it's obvious in his eyes and suddenly I really need to talk to someone even if I will have to make him forget it afterwards. I give him a sad smile.

"Well stranger you might want to sit down if you really want to know because, your about to hear quite the story." He laughs, my attempt at humour lighting up his eyes. I never really noticed my visitor but I have to admit he is quite attractive. He has warm brown eyes, blonde hair with a highlighted look only natural blondes can achieve. He also has a slight accent but I will have to listen to him speak to decipher. "First I am going to ask you to believe everything I say, I promise not to lie if you promise to be understanding." He nods but his faces pales, he is probably expecting me to say I stole the car, I just realized what a nice vehicle it is. "I am over five thousand years old." I state like it's nothing at all, I can't help but laugh at the confusion on his face.

"But miss-"

"Do you trust me stranger?" I ask interrupting his sentence.

"Yes, and my name is Carter." I can't believe how calm he is, it's astounding!

"And my name is Sita," I'm not sure why I tell him my really name, it just feels right, "now lets get started." I start at the beginning of my life in India and work my way up to the present. He gasps, laughs and even almost cries at all the right moments. Words are coming effortlessly, I don't even think about what I'm saying until he stops me.

"You went to heaven?" I am scared for he looks like he is about to faint. I nod and take his hands in mine, I can't help but smile at the sight of my small white hands grasping his large fairly tanned ones, I also can't help but notice the faint tingling that spreads through me. I notice it but don't take time to think about it's meaning. When I describe heaven I watch his face fall into a happy smile, he regains his calm attitude for the rest of my story. Luck is definatly on my side today, this man who has found me is taking my vampirism better than anyone I've even told, including Seymour. The mention of his name, even in my thoughts is painful Carter notices my face fall and tries to comfort me, I don't feel as lonely when I am with him and this is a miracle.

"You know what Sita, you desperately need a night to just relax," he sees me start to argue but holds up a finger, "I know Krishna wants you to kill off this supernatural race and all but I don't think he could expect even you to do that in one day. also you won't be able to figure out anything if you are so worried about everything. So guess what we're doing."

"What?" I have finally guessed his accent, I would bet any money that this man has descended from Russia, his English is perfect but you can never drop an accent if you've lived somewhere your whole life, well unless your around five thousand years old that is.

"You and I are going to a movie, I don't care what kind. We are going to sit there eat popcorn drink slushies and make fun of the previews. You have way too much drama in your life but I'm going to help you figure it out!" So much for making him forget everything, I do think he is right though I haven't just had a movie night with some guy I just met in well, forever and maybe he will be useful later one when the hard stuff comes.

"Okay lets go." I am about to start up the car when he shakes his head apparently I am in no condition to drive, I 'm about to remind him that I have much better senses and a lot more practice when I stop, I am going to have a fun human night letting Carter drive is my first step towards normal. During the car ride I get to hear Carters life story, apparently he was born in Siberia but moved to America when he was eleven. He tells me about his parents, pets, jobs, hardships and even admits that he's only had one girlfriend in his whole life, hey broke up two years ago. I watch his face while he talks, he is so animated when he tells stories that I can't help but get caught up in it. I notice little things like the way his lips move when he talks, how incredibly long his eyelashes are and how when he says certain things his accent is a lot more noticeable. I am surprised to find that we are already at the cinema, his talking made an hours drive seem like only minutes. In my pursuit for normal I don't complain when he walks over and opens my door, even though I'm probably setting back the woman's rights movement a few decades. We hold hands as we walk and I decide that for just one night I'm going to let everything else go and be happy.

"So, what movie do you want to see Si-." I lean in to whisper to him, it would not be good if someone recognized me here.

"Don't call me Sita in public, it's not a common name and I've got a lot of enemies." I don't mention that they wouldn't need my name to attack me, my face is enough to tip them off but he nods.

"Good enough, well _Sarah_,"he says Sarah with a humorous twist, "what movie are we going to watch?" I like his creativity, he doesn't realize that I would respond to any name he gave me so I am guessing he was trying to find something that sounded close.

"This one!" I exclaim grabbing his hand and pulling his over to the poster, I've chosen a comedy. The picture is of women dressed up for a wedding and is called "Bridesmaids" , I don't know why but he smiles to himself.

"Sure Sarah, lets go." His eager smile lightens my heart, I've never seen someone so filled with life and happiness. We stand in line for popcorn, the night is wonderful. We eat popcorn and drink slushies, which to my surprise I absolutely love, I like them so much the I have to get a refill before the movie even starts. We also do make fun of the ridiculous preview and take turns trying to answer the trivia. We laugh during the movie and throw popcorn at unsuspecting victims ahead of us, I almost pass out when I hear myself giggle, I fell so light like nothing can touch me. After the movie we walk out to his car we joke around pushing each other and racing for the drivers seat, obviously I win but he put up as much fight as expected for a human. I get in the car and stare at him, I am about to take off when I remember I have nowhere to go.

"So where off to now Sita?" He is so easy in relaxed that it's starting to rub off on me, "I know you have no place to live right now so if you want to you can stay at my place." I hesitate for a moment do I really want to drag him into my dangerous pain filled life, I really only think about it for a moment but he takes my hesitation as something else. "I don't mean we have to do anything I just don't want you sleeping on the street."

"Do you really want to be part of my life, you know how deadly I am?" I say it tauntingly but I really do mean it.

"Sita I know you've killed before and people you've cared for have died but I'm not scared of you." He speaks in hushed tones but his voice is all I can hear, I feel like I might regret this later but he's not scared of me and for right now I'm going to try not to be scared of all the possibilities.

**Review! :)**


	6. Cold

**Thanks for being so patient with this story, I'll make it up to you guys by trying to give it a good ending, but not before I've added a lot more :)**

I wake in the arms of Carter with my head resting on his chest, we had fallen asleep on different sides of the bed but must have rolled over while sleeping. The first thing I notice in the morning is how I slept because I wanted to not because I felt the need, also to my great joy I still don't feel the familiar burn of blood lust in my throat, maybe I am not a vampire anymore, I'm not sure. I lay staring at the ceiling for I don't know how long before Carter wakes, I am trying to find a solution to the mess I've mad but nothing comes to the forefront of my mind. I feel like there is an obvious answer but I just can't grasp the thought, it's frustrating. I didn't even notice that Carter was awake until he took his finger and smoothed out my forehead, it had been crumpled due to my anger but it faded as soon as he touched me, I refuse to think about what that means.

"Sita stop thinking so hard, what's got you all worked up?" His voice is so caring that I just want to sink into this bed and forget everything, but that would help nothing and I know I'm a hero at heart.

"I'm just trying to find a solution to all of this, I can feel it on the tip of my tongue!" Even I can hear the annoyance in my voice, Carter looks like he could laugh but is desperately trying to keep a calm face.

"The answer is so obvious how can you not see it?" Obvious? I sat here for well over an hour and came up with nothing and now he's telling me the answer is obvious!

"Obvious, what the hell are you talking about?" His need to laugh vanishes along with his calm face, I feel bad for making him scared but I've never been perfect with my temper.

"So tell me, why can't you kill Seymour, you killed Yakasha and you knew him for longer?" He does make a good point and I have to think deeply before I reply, but what if the reason I can't kill Seymour is because I don't know what will happen afterwards. With Yakasha I knew he would go to heaven but Seymour, I just don't know.

"I can't send Seymour to hell Carter, I saw it, it's so much worse than possible for us to imagine. If I hadn't seen it myself I wouldn't believe what an evil it gives off, I just can't do that to him, he's a good person." I believe what I say but forming it into words makes it so much more real it's painful.

"Why don't you just ask?" His voice makes it sound like it's common sense, actually now that I think about it this is the answer I've been looking for! I could just ask Krishna if the shape sifters can go to heaven and save myself all of this trouble, I think Carter sees the realization on my face because he smiles full on now, a smile that would make my heart tingle under different circumstances.

"I think you might just be right, I'll just ask Krishna." I am beaming now, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of me, I can finally breathe for the first time since I ran from Matt's house. I close my eyes to centre myself, last time I wanted to see Krishna I wasn't thinking clearly so now I try to take it slower and be more direct. I am paid off with my slow way of doing things because when he shows up my mind feels effortless, like it expanded to include him not like I'm trying to shove it in a place it can't fit. I can't really explain where we are because we are nowhere, it is like endless see through glass, something I can't understand outside of our meetings.

"Good morning Sita, how are you?" even though he is mildly curious as to why I called him but he is still a gentleman, the gifts of divine patience.

"Wonderful Krishna, how are you?" My voice sounds happy and buoyant, guess I do hope for the best sometimes.

"I am good and I'm glad to see the change in your mood, but I'm guessing that this is not just a purely social visit so Sita what have you come here for?" His choice of words surprise me, I always kind of thought I was calling him to me but he makes it sound like I go to him instead.

" See I was wondering if it's possible for the shape sifters to go to heaven, I mean if they've done good in their life they should be accepted just like everyone else. Hell you let me in and I'm a vampire who has committed more sins than the devil himself." His hard look is replaced with something like pity, I don't want pity though, I want straight answers I can deal with.

"Sita, is this about all shape sifters or just Seymour?" He talks to me like one would the relative of a dying patient, I feel like I might explode with anxiety.

"Yes, no, I don't know. I have killed sinners and saints alike throughout the ages but the only way it was bearable is if I knew they had a fighting chance at going to heaven. Everyone deserves that Krishna, I can't kill them if I know that they are already damned." My dark words alter the feel of our conversation, I almost feel bad for ruining the mood.

"You once believed you were damned Sita." I can't tell what he plans from his words, I can feel an outburst on the tip of my tongue but I bite it back, I really don't want to start yelling.

"And I hated myself. Every single moment of every single minute I was completely filled with self loathing. Can you understand how that feels Krishna?" I sound as broken as I feel. Finding out that I was going to hell had been the worst moment of my life, if I hadn't had such a mission to preform when I came to kill the telar I could have turned into a monster. Whenever I speak about seeing hell I feel a tiny pain in my chest, like my soul has a scar from seeing it.

"Your right." He hangs his head in defeat. I am so stunned to see him like this I don't react at first, he looks sad and almost human, I have a feeling he doesn't show this side of himself to very many people.

"Right about what?" I make my voice so soft it is barley a whisper, this new side of Krishna makes me love him more than before. Even god has his week moments.

"I don't know how you felt. From the moment I began I was guaranteed a spot in heaven, I don't know what it's like to not know what happens when you die. Also your right about the shape sifters deserving a chance, they'll go to the scales like everyone else." His ending smile is bittersweet.

I know his mood is foul but I can't help but ask "What was your original plan for them?" I fear his answer will be bad due to the look that passes over him before he speaks.

"I have a feel it would upset you very much if I told you. I must go now Sita, take care." I know he is avoiding my question but the pain in his eyes keeps me from arguing too much.

"But Krishna."

"Goodbye Sita." and with that he disappears into nothing, I stand there confused for a minute until I start to recognize the furniture in Carters' room. I blink a few times before really looking around, I sign contentedly when I see Carter sitting with a cup of water and food.

"How did you know I'd be hungry?" I tease, my mood is high again and I get that "I can take on anything" feeling.

"I know you well," he jokes, "actually your stomach was making wild animal noises and I figured you were hunger or your body had decided to cannibalize itself." We are both laughing so hard tears stream down our faces, we are almost done laughing when my stomach makes one of it's famous "wild animal noises" and are thrown into another fit of hysteria, it is needless to say it is a good way to wake up. For almost twenty minutes we lay in bed and eat grapes cheese and crackers, I am so comfortable that I regret that I have to get to work soon.

"You know we can't stay like this forever." I state, we are laying down much in the same position we woke so I can only feel his nod. Some might feel weird about being so close to a stranger but after living through countless ages you sort of ignore most social customs.

"What's our mission for today super woman?" His laughter makes me smile in return, it's so tempting to forget everything for just one day, but I know it's wrong.

"We need to think up a plan to kill Seymour." I have decided that I can kill Seymour now that I know he can move on, actually I'm doing him a favour.

"Kill Seymour?" He raises one eyebrow as a question but doesn't seem overly apposed, I can't believe that by luck I've found the most accepting human on the planet.

"Yes, he can go to heaven so I'm not damning him, I'm kind of doing him a favour. So we need to figure out if they can be killed, and how." He nods again in agreement. The we go into a deep conversation about the possibilities of their powers. Carter seems to think that they could be killed much like I can but I know better, I have learned not to underestimate my enemies. I sit and rack my brain for somewhere I could get information about these shape sifters, the only person I know who is a 'sifter is... "Oh my god, I know how I'm going to kill Seymour."

"How?" his confusion is understandable, I can barley believe it myself.

"I'm going back to Matt and Seymour, I'll gather information than kill him when I get the chance." I almost laugh at his expression, to say he's shocked is an understatement.

He laughs in a sarcastic way "And you don't think that's a little cold?" I can tell this is his real way if seeing if I can handle it but his words make me snap.

"I've killed before without batting an eyelash, I barley know you, I could kill you easily and feel little remorse. I'm not human, Carter, you need to remember that." My warning is real but I can tell my words were a little too much. I am surprised that he doesn't freak out but at this moment I think there is nothing that will phase him.

"Have you tested your strength yet?" He is now acting like a reserved jerk, I can't believe I was so rude before. I would feel horrible if I killed him. I turn around and hug him tightly, I have always been a forward person and never hold back what I'm feeling, so I don't question myself when I turn around to his kiss.

"Of course I would be sad if I killed you Carter, right now you are one of the two people on this earth who I feel like I can trust. The other one is Matt but he isn't here and it wouldn't matter if he was. I'm sorry for being such a bitch, I'm just frustrated. Your right it's incredibly cold to gain Seymour's trust and then stab him in the back but I'm out of options and I really am doing him a favour, forgiving?" I smile when I see a happy light in his eyes, he takes his hand and gently caresses my face.

"I know Sita, I know. So when do we set the master plan in action?" And just like that he is back to his normal loving self, as we talk about the technicalities of my mission I feel a pit of dread at the bottom of my stomach, I just really hope I can find out everything from Seymour before shit hit's the fan.


	7. Not the Same

I feel disgusted with myself as I get into Matt's car, I've left Carter at home so I am surrounded by silence. I do not want to explain to them why I was with a human, I'm also trying to keep things normal so I don't arise suspicion when I cross enemy lines. It feels horrible to talk about Seymour as the enemy but I really can't think of any other way to describe the situation without admitting I am about to purposely kill yet another person close to me. Usually I enjoy the quiet but today it seems more mocking than peaceful, the whole world seems like it's glaring at me for what I'm about to do, I feel incredibly guilty.

It is almost evening and the sun is about it start it's downward fall. The weather has been bright and sunny, very contradictory to my mood. I love driving, I can usually calm down while riding at high speeds, the faster I go the safer I feel it's almost like nothing can touch me. Today is different, I feel cornered like I'm being watched. I find myself constantly checking over my shoulder or out my rear-view mirror. My stomach lurches as I pull into the driveway of Matt and Seymour's house, I see Matt look out the kitchen window and smile. I plaster a fake one on my face to match his and push my guilt deep inside my mind, I don't want Matt to see through me so I add a little nervousness and fear into my emotions. Ever since coming back to earth I have learned that I am in total control of my mind and body, I don't really think there is anything I can't do now, maybe this is how the telar used to feel. I am just leaving the car when I hear a house door swing open, I spend one second praying in my mind that I can keep it cool and come up with a reasonable explanation for my actions. The only flaw in my brilliant plan is that I cannot come up with a reason for why I left, I am planning on just going on whatever comes to me at the moment, should be wonderful.

"Sita!" Matt calls out jogging towards me, I am completely surprised when he pulls me into a tight hug and murmurs how much he misses me in my ear. I open my eyes to see Seymour watching us carefully. "Come on Seymour, Sita's back!" He teased while practically dragging him over to me, for a split second I want to go to Krishna and refuse to continue this plan, but then I hear his irregular heartbeat and confusing smell and remember that he's not the same person anymore. Despite my disgust for what he's become I give him a very friendly hug and apologize for leaving so quickly. My response for when they ask me why I left is that "I was totally overwhelmed by everything around me and Seymour's change in species just threw everything overboard in my mind." I actually went as far as to say that I barely remembered anything from that day, somewhat of a gamble but I was pleased to see my lying skills haven't worn down that much when Seymour sympathetically pats my arm. Either they are both amazing actors or they really believe everything I said.

"So, um, I was wondering if maybe I could stay here for a few night until I get things worked out?" I know they will say yes but playing the nice hopeless act seems my best route right now.

"Of course Sita, I was actually kind of hoping you'd want to stay." Seymour says smiling, I can almost hear my heart shattering into tiny pieces. Matt gives us both an excited smile and starts to guide me into a living room, he doesn't speak until he is almost sitting in the chair.

"I have something very interesting to show you that we found about five years ago, it will explain a lot about how the police caught us so quickly after we destroyed the Telar and ICC." Now he has my interest, that mystery has always been in the back my mind since it happened. I am almost beside myself with excitement, but due to my nature I don't show my joy in case it is a test. Instead I stand quietly smiling with my hand behind my back waiting for him to continue. He looks up and smiles at me before opening a series of files on his computer, at first I have not a clue what I'm looking at.

"What is this?" Seymour and Matt both look at my like they expect me to understand, the only thing I can decipher from what I'm seeing is a very complex computer system. At first glance it seems like a futuristic life-like robot but then I remember that almost everything looks futuristic to me. After a further observation I am almost sure that it is some form of artificial intelligence, although it does look impressive I have no clue how i could send the cops after us so quickly. "Okay, explain to me how it works. I give up on trying to guess on my own." I smile, I'm trying to add some of the old joking that I used to do while talking to them. If I'm too uptight they'll know something in wrong, I wonder if Matt would help me if I told him the situation, I decide to play it safe and wait until I know more before going to him.

"This right here is the most advanced version of AICS, the artificial intelligence computer system. It can control almost anything on this earth, we are one of the three people who can access these files and information. Those children had actually programmed it to keep signal with implanted sensors in their bodies that keep track of their heartbeats. Turns out three days before you killed the telar the lens had set it so that if the sensors registered a stop in their hearts it immediately sent our names and "crimes" to the F.B.I, they even made it look like it was from a cop station in L.A." I am shocked, I knew these children were smarter than most but I didn't know their intelligence was this great. I have a feeling there was more to them than we thought. For the first time in a while Shanti, or as I found out Tarana was on my mind. I feel horrible for not telling them earlier, even though it's not a great time to drop another bomb it's not like things can get much worse either, and well there's never really a good time to tell someone their friend was the devil.

"I am really sorry to have to bring this up now but, I need to tell you the truth about Shanti's death." They both turn to face me, I see the hopefulness in Seymour's face. They were really close and I know this is just going to break his heart.

"Wasn't she killed by the same person you were?" Matt asks with caution, almost as if he is doubting the fact already, good, this won't be as much as a shock to him.

"No, I don't really know how to put this easily but, I killed Shanti." For a moment everything falls silent, the only sound is our heartbeats. I predict Seymour's attack before he makes it but he gets a small hit in before i restrain him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He growls, I am on top of him pinning him down. He might have grown muscle since I was gone but I am still stronger.

"You're not letting me explain, if you can calm down we can talk about this like normal people. I suggest you halt your violence towards me before I have to _make you stop_." He stops struggling but his glare remains in place. Matt stands behind us puzzled as if he were trying to figure out a difficult equation.

"Why did you do it?" Matt asks, his voice isn't as angered as Seymour's but there is a menacing edge to it that makes me uncomfortable.

"Do you want the short answer or the complete story?" I hope they go for the short answer because I am not in the mood to relive the past but knowing them they won't.

"Short." Seymour spits out.

"Long." Matt answers hesitantly, they both give each other a look before turning back to me. It is so typical that they still disagree on the smallest things.

"Okay, short answer, Shanti was Tarana, the Light Bearer or Devil whichever you call it," they both go to speak but hold up my hand, "If you interrupt me on every detail this will take forever, do you trust me?" They both nod. "Alright then, sit down because this could take a lot longer than a little while."


	8. Ignorance is Bliss

Their faces were blank as they stared at me, I had just finished my story, well the long version, of Tarana's death. I knew it would be a shock to them, I could barley believe it myself when I figured it out but the facts just weren't adding up. I am actually surprised when Seymour comes up and hugs me, I stiffen at first but then relax into his familiar embrace. I look behind me to see Matt smiling at us, guess it's no lie that ignorance is bliss. I don't notice until a few minutes after that Seymour softly sobs into my shoulder, I am not one to tell lies just to console someone so I tell him the only truth that might help him heal.

"You know I got to see a pretty good look at hell while I was down there." His head lifts in a dreary hope, he believes I speak of after I died and I don't plan on correcting him.

"Yes, and that's where Shanti is now! Sita you're not helping anything." I see the moisture return in his eyes, it's sometimes hard to believe that he is an unholy monster.

"They were trying to scare me but Seymour, they took me further then they planned and I saw the truth! Lucifer and God are the exact same thing, they represent light, when Tarana realized this he was too anger and too proud to admit it. Hell's demons have been fighting their brothers for nothing and he can't admit this to anyone. This is why he is so cold, after I saw this truth I knew that most of the worlds battles were in vain, and had all been for nothing." Matt looks at me with one eyebrow raised but Seymour is very comforted by my words, Matt gives me a look that says we'll talk later. "Seymour it is getting late and we desperately need to catch up so why don't you come into my room and we can talk some more?" For a moment I let myself pretend that nothing is wrong, that I don't have to kill him and that the world is happy. This brief moment of joy end when I hear my phone go off, it is on silent but my hearing is so great that I can hear the vibrations down the wires in my phone. I believe now my senses are even better than Matt's, only Krishna's grace could have preformed this miracle.

"Alright Sita, come on." His face is a beaming smile, each time I feel his happiness it is like little knives working their way into my heart.

"Just wait I need to shower first, you can meet me up there." He then proceeds to show me the upstairs bathroom near my room, I have to admit their house it quite luxurious. I would have liked one further from where Seymour is because I don't no all of his capabilities yet but this will have to do. Even though the phone is touch screen and the buttons don't make noise I still have the shower running before I check my phone that Carter gave me, I can bring it right in to the shower with me, technology has accelerated in my absence. It is a message from Carter himself, obviously because no one else knows this number.

_Hey Sita, how are things working out? I've been doing some research of my own while you were gone. Found out that shape shifters are at their full power during the full moon, which is in sixteen days. I know this is hard but we should probably kill him before then. You're doing good, be safe :)_

_I am trying, haven't found out anything useful yet but I plan on it tonight. I'll try to reach the deadline, and I don't even want to know what you had to do to get that kind of information, it's not something they usually hand out. I'm being safe but you don't do anything stupid. I miss you, hope to be back soon enough XO :)_

I don't feel weird about adding the XO to then end of my text message. I just barley meet him but when you're this old you start friendships quickly. Anyways it's the person who counts, not how much time you've spent together. I quickly shower and try not to waste time, my texting took up a minute and Seymour will be expecting me soon, I really hope I'm not being suspicious. When I return to the room Seymour sits by the window smoking a cigarette, even now he can't break that bad habit. He sees me looking at him and shakes his head.

"Don't hate Sita, it's not like I could get lung cancer now." My mind screams yes! I am glad that he is the one to bring up his change not me, it looks better. I try to act nervous and humble again, he notices the obvious change and rubs my arm, without speaking he knows what I feel. We lost our bond but he still understands me better than most.

"I'm so so sorry Seymour, I-"

"Shhhh." He whispers holding a finger to my mouth, "I forgive you and understand, would it make you feel better is I told you a little bit more about what I am." I am hesitant at first, this seems too easy. I then remember that we have always been very open and this is just me overreacting also he would know it makes me feel better to know all the facts.

"Yeah it would actually." I give him a smile that never fails me while acting innocent. It has just enough of my spunk while a little bit of good to balance everything out. We lay in bed together while we talk about things, at first he gives me nothing significant but at the end of his talk on how he can turn into a wolf he says,

"And it's so typical that we can only be killed by silver, at least Hollywood get something right." I laugh right along with his joke but on the inside I'm conflicted. I'm glad to have this kind of information but I don't know if I can kill him, I really don't want to but with each passing moment I spend in his arms the closer the full moon gets the more power he gains.

"Seymour is it true that you can only change on a full moon?" It is a dangerous question at times like these but I go for it, worst case he'll start to speculate, he still knows nothing. To my surprise he laughs.

"Actually we are limited by the moons cycle. I can still change in the middle of its rotation but in the days before the full moon I get drained. Usually Matt just keeps me in my room while I sleep." Oh my god, this is too perfect. I sense something amiss beforehand but now it is obvious. I don't know what my dear Seymour is hiding but I swear I will find out, and I will kill him. I know it is horrible to kill someone who is this close to you but honestly I have no choice in the matter, for it is Krishna's will that I obey. The only way I can let myself lay here in peace is the fact that he is not damned, not yet.

**This is the last of the revised chapters, now I'm on to the new stuff :) **


	9. What Happens While You're Sleeping

We lay in a comfortable silence until I feel Seymour fall asleep, listening to the steady beat of his odd heartbeats slow down. I wait until he snores into the side of my neck before carefully removing myself from the bed; I don't want to risk waking him up. With the silence of someone who has eons of practice sneaking around I tip-toe to the door and exit the room with no more a whisper of noise. I waste no time and head directly to Matt's room. To my relief he is still awake; sitting with his back to me at a desk typing furiously on a laptop, I slowly walk over to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders.

"What are you writing this late at night?" I whisper jokingly, resting my head on his shoulder while scanning the page in front of me. It turns out that I have interrupted him in the middle of writing a story about – to my great surprise – Greek mythology, I don't even pretend to know why he has chosen this time and topic.

"Oh nothing, just something I've been working on." He says turning his head to smile at me while still typing. "May I ask why you've pleasured me with your presence at this hour of night?" His smile makes my heart jumps, I've almost forgotten just how much Matt can affect me, especially when he's in such good humour.

"I need to tell you something." I answer, letting my tone change showing I'm serious. Now he stops typing and turns around completely to face me, and pulling me into his lap.

"Sita what's going on?" He says brushing a stray hair behind my ear, his hands look so large compared to my tiny face, he does remind me of his father very much. I take a deep breath and compose myself, now that I'm here ready to tell everything to Matt I'm second guessing myself, what if he doesn't believe me? What if he wakes up Seymour and kicks me out? Everything I've been working for could fall apart in one moment, and then I would be back just where I started. "Just tell me Sita." He says, eyes wide and pleading, face full of compassion.

"Krishna sent me here to complete a job." I whisper, voice almost breaking when I remember just how much I miss my creator and his heavenly adobe. "Krishna needs my help to kill of a new species." I say a bit louder, waiting in the silence of the room for Matt to understand.

"Do you mean..." He whispers, eyes searching mine looking for a sign that he's wrong, oh how I wish I could tell him he was. I wish I could forget everything and spend the rest of my time on earth being happy with Matt and Seymour, hell maybe I could even introduce them to Carter, but none of that is going to happen.

"I'm sorry Matt." I whisper back, begging him to understand.

"No, this can't be happening! What are we supposed to do, kill him?" He says, voice rising a few octaves. I quickly slam my hand against his mouth to shut him up, he is still trying to mumble into my hand when I give him a silencing glare.

"Would you be quiet! Seymour could wake up at any second! We have to Matt, it's Krishna's will. I've met the man, he's not someone you argue with. But I've also been to heaven Matt, it's not like we're sending him to a bad place, we're honestly doing him a favour." I don't mention that it could also be possible for Seymour to go somewhere not so nice, I instead watch as Matt's face changes from complete horror to something more relaxed.

"You make murder seem reasonable." He says softer with a sad smile. I can tell that now he'll help with this plan to kill our best friend, his face is composed with grim determination. He doesn't like this anymore than I do but like me he understands when something needs to be done for the greater good, no matter the personal cost.

"I try my hardest, but Matt I know this isn't going to be easy. He may hate us, even in the afterlife,and grudges like that just don't go away." I say with no emotion,this wasn't even something I had thought of before the words were out of my mouth, I stare at Matt in horror. "What if he did hate us Matt, forever?" My voice comes out sounding small, not at all reflecting my power or personality, I sound like a broken child instead of a vampire turned messiah who has walked the earth for thousands of years.

"He won't Sita, he won't" He say trying to console me, running his warm hands down my arms, trying to get rid of the goose bumps.

"You can't know that for sure." I answer back, I should be trying to convince him to help me, not pushing him away, I don't know what I'm doing.

"Did you hate me, when I shot you on the mountain top?" He asks eyes holding mine with their intensity, demanding an answer. I stare right back into his eyes with the same level of seriousness.

"That's different Matt and you know it." I say back, almost with anger. I'm not mad at him but my emotions are just so jumbled right now they come out at random moments, it's been a long time since I've felt this out of control.

"It is the same, both were the results of situations we didn't have decisions in. He would agree with me, if it were anyone but himself." Matt says under his steady stare, I watch his eyes as he talks, he truly believes what he is saying. Maybe he is right, maybe Seymour would understand, but it's not like I could go wake him up and ask. I don't answer, instead I lay my head against Matt's shoulder, matching my breathing pace to his. He gently plays with a strand of my hair as we sit in silence; I don't feel bad about being close with Matt while I have whatever is going on with Carter, I've been around long enough to ditch the human idea of monogamy. So I let myself relax as I sit with Matt; indulging in one of the small moments were I forget all of the responsibilities that lay on my shoulders. We sit in a long comfortable silence – just being with each other is enough – and I let myself truly think of just how much I missed Matt, how much I really do need him in my life. It seems as though hours pass before either of us speak again.

"You need to get back to bed Sita." He whispers, ignoring the fact that the sun will be rising in a couple of hours. "Seymour will wake soon, and what will he think if he wakes to an empty bed?" He says, a slow smile crossing his lips.

"He will think that I've left his arms to go save the world, as always." I answer jokingly. "Little does he know he is what I'm saving the world from." I say letting my eyes go distant, sucking all the humour out of our conversation. Matt stares at me for a long time with sad eyes before he speaks.

"Go to bed Sita." He whispers turning his face away from me to hid his emotions. I squeeze his shoulder gentle before leaving the room, knowing that he needs time alone to process everything, I hope he can act natural by the time Seymour wakes up. I pull my phone from my pocket and open it to send a quick text message on my way back to Seymour's room; I find the surprising urge to talk to Carter after everything that's happened tonight, I long to have him here beside me with his warm scent and mesmerizing accent.

_Talked to Matt tonight, he is on board with the plan and agreed to help me. Found out some info from Seymour tonight, but everything seems too easy, do you think I'm walking into a trap? Text me when you can, I'll try to see if I can get out to meet up with you sometime soon, I miss you! Don't go digging around for more info on the 'shifters, it could be dangerous...be careful! XO_

He must have been waiting by the phone or something, beside I am barely to the room turning the knob when my screen lights up saying I have a message, I turn the brightness down and face the opposite direction hoping not to wake Seymour.

_I knew Matt would understand, you're doing good! It could be a trap, these shape shifters could be a lot smarter than we know, so don't let your guard down! Yes we do need to meet up, I've got some interesting stuff to show you, I miss you too Sita! But I can take care of myself, and the more information we have the better...you be careful too, xoxo_

I don't risk replying with Seymour laying beside me in a light slumber, instead I turn my phone off shoving it back in my pocket. I'll answer Carter when I get a chance, when I'm alone. I try to get comfortable in the bed and get back into the same position we were before, and maybe even catch a few moments of sleep, but my brain will not quiet down.

It seems that old habits die hard, because even though I am not a vampire anymore I still don't sleep anywhere near the normal amount. My thoughts swirl in my mind creating a confusing mess of fears and ideas, it is also a bad habit of mine to try to think about everything at once. I am just starting to somewhat relax when I feel light fingers tracing my face.

"Have you not slept at all tonight?" Seymour whispers, fingers still lightly going over my face. I force myself not to flinch away from his touch; and the foreign feel of his skin, now changed by whatever turned him into a supernatural creature.

"I tried." I answer, closing my eyes as he lightly follows the shape of my brow bone. I find myself wanting to pretend that he is normal, but I don't give in to such fantasies, they will only make it harder to kill him when it comes time.

"Go to sleep Sita," He says quietly, tracing the space between my eyebrows. Despite everything I feel myself falling closer to sleep, I justify it by my body knowing I need rest, not by taking comfort in Seymour. Because if I am going to figure out a way to kill him and if I'm being tricked I'll need more than a few minutes sleep. I let Seymour's soft finger rock me into oblivion, trying to keep the horrors of the world surrounding me out of my mind.

**Glad to be getting some new stuff up, the new thirst book has defiantly inspired me to take this story further, tell me what you think!**


	10. Valeriya

**Hey there! I'm very happy to be getting the new chapter up so soon, volleyball is starting up again so things might be a little slow/busy in the next few weeks! I'm trying to add some of the background history stuff Pike does in the books, tell me what you think :)**

The next few days go by quickly; Matt and I play our parts well, pretending that everything is normal. Seymour is either oblivious to our plans or a very good actor, he seems completely at ease around the both of us. Things around our house are quiet but I don't let myself get lulled into a false sense of security; I keep my mind and body on high alert at all times.

With only six days left to formulate a plan I run into a problem, I still need to go visit Carter. I spend the better half of the morning trying to come up with a reasonable excuse until I remember that Paula and John must still be somewhere, visiting them won't look the least bit suspicious.

"Do either of you two know where Paula and John live now?" I ask as Matt, Seymour and, I sit on the patio soaking in the warm rays of mid-morning sun. I drink coffee with Matt while Seymour smokes his cigarettes.

"They live just a half hour from here on the coast, want me to show you?" Seymour asks while letting a cloud of smoke out of his mouth. It's easier to lie to him with the fumes obscuring his face.

"I'd rather go alone actually, there are some things I'd like to ask John." Matt shoots me a confused glance while Seymour puts out the last of his smoke; I pretend not to notice.

"Good luck," he laughs. "Getting a straight answer out of John makes saving the world look easy!" Seymour smiles – it's true – getting answers out of John is damn near impossible; good thing I won't actually be trying today.

"I'll need the luck." I answer sarcastically as I go back into the house; leaving my coffee still steaming on the table. I am out the front door and into Matt's car before either of them have a chance to try and change my mind and come with me. I roll down the windows and try to relax, letting my mind wander back to a different time when I was in a similar situation.

_It was a sunny day not unlike today when I first met Valeriya; a woman who I later on fell in love with. I had just travelled into Russia from Finland; it was 1632 and I was happy to be in a new town. The group of people I had been travelling with had decided to stop their journey in Novosibirsk but I wanted somewhere quieter to stay, so I've continued to walk this dirt path looking for the next small village. I walk for quite some time before I spot a woman around the age of twenty walking ahead of me with a mule. I run to catch up to her as fast as I can without looking more than human._

" _Куда вы направляетесь?" I ask in flawless Russian. "Where are you headed?" _

"_домой, в деревню впереди...but I speak English just as well as Russian." She laughs; she has a beautiful laugh, it lights up her whole face and makes her big brown eyes look like shinning gemstones, she is a very attractive woman._

"_My Russian is perfect, how could you tell it wasn't my first language?" I ask, watching the way her eyes run over me, trying to figure out where I'm from._

"_You look like you've been travelling a long time, it's obvious you're not from around here. English is the only other language I know." She explains; I don't admit that I know almost every language know to man, for some reason she makes me want to pretend I'm normal._

"_You're right, I came over from Finland," I say, I watch her eyes widen in shock at my long journey, which was much harder for the humans with me. "What's your name?" We start to get closer to our destination now, we can see buildings in the distance, and I can hear the regular noise of the villagers._

"_Such a long journey, you must be so tired! Come and stay with me tonight, at least until you can find somewhere else." She doesn't phrase it as a question and I feel I have no option but to say_ _yes. "My name's Valeriya, what is yours?" She asks after a moments pause._

"_Sita." I answer, without hesitation. I assume that my time in a small town in Russia will be uneventful and boring compared to my travels in some other parts of the world, I have no idea how wrong I am._

I make it to Carter's long before I would have made it to Paula's, I have sent Paula a text saying if Seymour asks I'm with her – I don't need to explain – due to her abilities she'll already know what's going on, or at least have a vague idea of my situation.

I feel myself relax as I open the door to his house; I've been so on edge these past few weeks trying to figure out everything I can about shape shifters that I haven't really let myself unwind. I let out a breath I didn't notice I was holding as I spot Carter in the kitchen.

Even though I haven't made my entrance quiet he can't hear me over the sound of sizzling bacon and the classic rock blaring from the radio beside the stove. It's been so long since I've done something simply for pleasure; I decide to have fun with him. Before he can turn around and see me I have jumped up and perched myself above his head in the corner by the ceiling. Very quietly – without him noticing – I inch my way down the wall, using only my arm muscles to support myself. When I am only a foot above his head I spin myself while sliding down so that I land upside down using the top of the stove to balance on. I've moved so quickly that all Carter sees is a blur above his stove, I wait a second for his eyes to adjust before I smile at him. His reaction is hilarious. He drops the bowl of pancake batter he was about to mix and covers the both of us in flour, I blow a little out of my mouth creating a white cloud before speaking.

"Morning Carter." I say grinning, feeling younger than I have in probably a thousand years. I do a graceful flip off the stove and land perfectly beside him, he still looks shocked beyond belief. I gently reach up and pick a particularly large clump of flour out of his hair. "You've got a little something here." I whisper. He starts to come out of his surprise and smiles down at me,making little creases in the powder on his face.

"Good morning Sita." He whispers, pulling me closer until our faces are just inches apart. I am surprised to find myself anticipating his kiss with pleasure; it's been a long time since anyone but Matt has made me feel this way. Finally he leans in and closes the gap between our lips; usually I am very forward but something about him makes me want to stand back and let him take the lead.

We stand in the kitchen for a few minutes wrapped in each others embrace and causing the flour on us to float into the air in little puffs. With the sun shinning through the window it makes them look like little stars behind Carter as I stare into his warm brown eyes; for a moment I let myself forget my real reason for coming here.

"I have missed you." I whisper back, it's not a lie. I have thought of him often since I met him, it is unusual for me to get so attached to people quickly; there's something about him that seems familiar. I give myself a few more moments in his arms before focusing on why I actually came here.

"You want to here about the information I've got don't you?" He asks, reading me like an open book. I nod silently, watching the way he simultaneously looks disappointed and pleased. He stares at me for a few more minutes before returning to cook. "Go grab the book under my pillow." He says without turning around; he goes back to making breakfast. I hear the rumble of his stomach as I walk up the stairs, I've been living with people who don't need to eat often. I have forgotten the way in which humans are almost constantly hungry. I am in his room and grabbing the book he spoke of before he can get the sizzling bacon off the pan, feeling no need to hid my speed with just the two of us.

The book is very old, it's cover is made of cracked, worn leather. The golden script across the top glints slightly in the sunlight of the open window despite the books age – but that's not what makes my blood run cold – this is not the first time I've held it in my hands.

_I grow very comfortable with my life in Russia. Valeriya invites me to stay in her home until I can find a place, but we both know I will be staying with her for the duration of my stay; we have become very close. I may be comfortable here, but I am also suspicious. I sense something more is going on beneath the cheery facade, everyone seems welcoming – too welcoming – like actors in a play. There are also strange things that keep happening around here; people go missing, animals brutally murdered, and no one seems to care as much as they should. I didn't plan on staying here for any length of time, but I feel I can't leave until I figure out the truth, which is why I decide to investigate._

"_Lera," I start, calling her the nickname I began using for no apparent reason. "Your town is weird." I stare at her face trying gauge her reaction; she looks amused by my observation._

"_Yeah, it would seem pretty weird when you've travelled the world." She replies with humour lightening her tone. She knows all of my history – even what I am – and has taken it surprisingly well. I didn't plan on telling her, but it was inevitable when she saw me get bit by a Siberian tiger and fight it off to protect her one day while walking through the woods._

"_No, I mean things happen here – bad things – but no one seems to care." I say the words carefully, trying not to offend her. Valeriya can be very opinionated when she wants to be, but it's one of the reasons I find her so interesting._

"_We've had search parties for everyone who went missing," she gives me a confused glance. "and funerals for everyone we couldn't find, what more can we do?" Her voices raises at the end, I can't decide if her question is serious or not, but knowing her it is sarcastic._

"_Most people would be more concerned, more cautious." I answer, gesturing to the different groups of people walking around the town. Night has just fallen, most people would be tucked safely in their homes – especially with the rise in murders – but people walk freely around here as if it were broad daylight. She looks honestly surprised by me, her confusion is not hard to understand, she thinks I am all but invincible._

"_Awh is Sita the big bad vampire scared of the dark?" She teases, playfully flipping a piece of hair off of my shoulders. It is in her nature to make light of serious situations, another reason I find her so endearing. I grab the end of her braid and tickle her nose with it, she smiles brightly at me making her eyes crinkle at the ends. _

"_I'm more worried about the people here." I reply in a hushed tone, some of the villagers passing by our tiny porch in front of the house have gotten within earshot. Her big brown eyes hold onto mine with a startling intensity that transforms her face from cute to something more powerful._

"_Do you think it's something more than human out there?" She whispers, eyes flickering to the road out of town then back to mine. I hear her heart rate pick up slightly with the excitement of the unknown._

"_There can't be vampires here," I say quietly, making sure no one can overhear us. I've always thought I was the only type of supernatural creature on earth, I'm seeing now how narrow minded that sounds. "but I don't know if that means anything." I end with my voice sounding just as uncertain as I feel._


	11. Liar

"Sita is everything alright?" Carter asks, worry creasing his brow. I must have been standing here longer than I thought, holding a book more filled with evil than anything else I've ever held, it's almost as if Satan wrote it himself, I would not be surprised if he had.

"Where did you get this?"

"I found it in the back of an old used book store – mythology stuff – why?" The contents of this book were the first thing to make me wonder if I was the real monster on this planet, or maybe it was humanity. "I only got it because it mentioned full moon rituals and looked extremely old, thought you might be interested." His voice is full of confusion, but I can't focus on him right now. First off I am shocked that the book survived this long, it could only be the blasphemy within it's pages holding it together.

"Oh my god I broke the vampire." He laughs, trying to lighten the situation. I try to smile at his attempt but it turns into more of a grimace.

"I seriously hope, for both our sakes, that this book has nothing to do with Seymour's kind." I murmur. I do not even like holding the book, from the minute it was within my grasp I wanted to toss it away from me, or maybe even burn it, just anything to get it away from me. I decide now would be the time to tell Carter of my days in Russia, a small story I left out when telling him my history on that first day we met, simply because I chose to pretend it never happened.

_Valeriya and I lead a simple life for my first few weeks in Russia, we worked during the day and relaxed in the warmth of the setting sun during the evening. I let myself act young again, I let myself fall in love with a girl I barely knew. I think part of it was just wanting to break out of habit, but it was mostly just because of her._

_Everything was far from perfect in our small village though, as the animal mutilations became less common the murders were becoming more and more often. Sometimes there would only be a couple nights between them, it was then that I noticed a few of the townsfolk getting a little nervous. _

_I would hear things like "we've angered our gods" spoken in hushed tones in the middle of the night. More people started to pray and do sacrifices; I wanted to laugh at them, this was no work of a god. Something evil is behind this. I do not think this just because I do not understand what is going on here, I sense a dark presence surrounding this town. I also somehow feel as if I was meant to end up here while it was happening, to stop whatever is taking over. _

_In the beginning I formed plans without telling Lera what I was doing. I would follow suspicious people at night, visit the sleazy parts of town just trying to find anything that would help me stop, I found nothing. I got the feeling that it was almost too perfect –like someone was hiding something – but couldn't find enough proof to do anything. Valeriya caught on to my nightly escapades pretty quickly and to my surprise wanted in on them. With her help I learned even more about the townsfolk making it easier to spot patterns between them and gain some insight into their daily lives. After days of trying to think through all the useless information she finally thought of something; there was a small group of women who used to go to Valeriya's church every Sunday but had quit attending a few months ago. Shortly after this they were seen hanging out with the wrong crowd in the southern part of town. This wasn't something big, but it was the first thing I'd found abnormal so far, so I decided that night to pay them a visit to question them._

"_Can't I come with you?" Lera asked in a hushed tone, bright eyes only inches from mine._

"_I'm sorry." I whispered back. I knew bringing her would only be a hindrance to me, I had got her to show me the area earlier anyways. I could move a lot faster and get more done without a tag along. The other reason I didn't want her with me was I couldn't be sure how tonight would go, and I didn't want her to end up seeing the cruel side of me. She held my gaze steadily as if she were reading my mind, sometimes I thought she could._

"_Alright, come see me the moment you get back, I'll be waiting for you." She says as she gives me a light kiss on the check. I get the strong urge to stay here with her instead, to ignore this new clue and go back to bed but I shake it off. Instead I squeeze her shoulder then turn and leave the house, not looking back even though I can feel her eyes burning into the back of my head._

Carter looks at me in surprise. "Were those women you went to see 'shifters?"

"No," I answer. "They were human, but just barely. They knew how to conduct spells and rituals for almost anything. When I stopped them they were trying to complete one to make them able to change their faces, I feel like the shape shifters now could be a result of that." As I speak to him my mind is whirling with different possibilities. It is more than possible that this book could have been used to achieve a hybrid state, but only by someone experienced in the art of witchcraft. They would also have to know how to read ancient Cyrillic, a rare talent among people today.

"So you think..." Carter starts but I can't focus on what he's saying, all I can hear is that slight Russian accent coming through his words. _It could be a coincidence _I tell myself, but those are things I've never believed in.

"Carter,"

"Yes Sita?"

"Can we be honest with each other for a minute?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Are you a 'shifter?"

"No." He answers. I let out a breath, thank god. I couldn't have dealt with having to kill the both of them.

"You don't seem surprised by my question though." It's true, he looks almost as if he expected it to come. I feel the betrayal before he even starts to speak.

"I'm not. I was raised into this culture Sita," he says pointing to the book. "My life was always witches and wizards, which is why I sought after you. I could tell you were different. Now before you freak out let me explain, I'm still human I'm just more aware of the supernatural world than most. Don't confuse me with the witches you met back then, there's good and bad within everything. And it sounds like you managed to find the absolute worst, but I promise we're not all like that, most of us are good people." His eyes plead me to understand, I can't look at him for long without feeling like agreeing with him os I get up and walk away. It must be a wizard effect. I need time to process this information; I stand with my back to him in the silence, he doesn't say anything more. I think he knows I need time to step away from the situation.

I finally turn around to look at him and find myself speaking before I consciously decided to do so. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I couldn't, I needed to make sure you were serious about wiping out the race first, and I also had some technicalities to figure out before I could present myself as someone who could be of any use to you." I realize just then how I am viewed by most outside groups. Someone cold and thoughtless, like nothing else could motivate me to talk to someone unless I could use them for something. I feel sick to my stomach.

"Is that all you think you are, a tool for me to use?" I let all emotion drop out of my voice not wanting to show how much he upset me. I've been to hell for god's sake, I shouldn't be offended over stupid little things.

"That's not what I meant Sita. I just wanted to have something to offer when we went at them; I want them gone just as much as you do." He seems sincere, but I've seen how good of an actor he can be. For the moment I ignore my own feelings and grab the book, despite who he is I need all the help I can get, and he knows more than I could hope to.


End file.
